A brand new start!

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I had many thoughts after my 3 week winter break. I was very well behaved and made sure I did no work during that three weeks. I spent time with my friends from Houston in Bali, hung out with my parents’ friends and their kids in Nanning, and spent time with my own extended families afterwards.

It was such an important trip. For a couple of months between mid September to mid November, I almost couldn’t breathe. There was something so heavy in the air here in business school. And frankly, I felt so helpless. But for the thanksgiving week when I was in Houston and the three weeks abroad, I constantly got to be with people. Especially back home, I got to go eat with my relatives and some friends every day. I had many thoughts but didn’t have access to WordPress, could not have documented everything. Here are just a few of them.

1) Health is really important
My grandma on my mom side is 83. She couldn’t walk well anymore. After she had an eye surgery on one eye, she stopped going to the market. This caused a severe problem: once she stopped, she could not get back to the routine anymore. Because she’s extremely introverted and couldn’t read, she doesn’t have the ability to communicate much with the outside world. She couldn’t be in or on any moving vehicle for more than 5 minutes without throwing up, not even a bicycle. The only way she could’ve gotten around was walking. After she threw away her routine of going to the market, she was afraid of walking for more than 5 minutes away from the apartment. She would complain about her legs, especially her knees, for being too weak to walk. More than physically, she’s mentally weak. She would complain how grandpa doesn’t really want to talk to her and wants to send her away. Honestly despite the fact I love her, I couldn’t figure out how my grandma and grandpa’s marriage could work at all. He was the president of a public middle school, while she never finished elementary school. I wish I could visit her at least once a month. Someone please build a hyper loop across the Pacific Ocean…

Seeing my grandma being in her condition just reminded me how important it is to be healthy, to eat well, to eat on time and sleep enough. So far I have been well-behaved. Despite a busy first week back, I managed to eat most of my meals at home, sleep by 12 and nap for half an hour during the day. I don’t plan to exchange my health for job, money, grades or social time, for a good health is the foundation for all these things. (Well I kinda need to exercise more.)

2) There are many unsophisticated people out there
When I was attending a friend of my parents’ dad’s birthday, I saw so many supposedly upper-class women carrying luxurious purses, wearing expensive dresses and discussing how much they spent on jewelry. I could never understand why they need so much luxurious stuff. Honestly, most of them don’t even look good in those dresses and purses. Some of them don’t fit well in the dresses. Moreover, the moment they started talking, I was very thankful that Coco Chanel was not here to see someone like that in her clothing brand. They totally destroyed the image…

I guess at the end of the day, I have to learn to deal with different kinds of individuals. Though I was not all that pleased about seeing those people, I dealt with it.

3) 2014 could be the lucky year
So far I really enjoyed being in the new school building. I felt I am actually in a business school, not a high school. The building is so transparent. I crave for light often in the winter and the new building gives it. My happiness level is all a sudden high. I appreciate this new power source.

So far recruiting has gone surprisingly well. My yield from first round to super day is 3/3. I am actually starting to worry. Having a packed interview schedule could mean many potential opportunities, but it would also mean the lack of preparation for most of the upcoming first rounds and the super days. I tried to tell my parents what was going on, but they had absolutely no idea what I meant. I gave up. It looks like only people who’ve been through it could understand it.

Today I chatted with a couple of my friends at the closing bell and started to worry about my future. Life was probably too good for a while. The closer I am getting to the first “prize” a.k.a. An internship, the more I am afraid it is a trap. On the other hand, I am not sure if a risk averse individual like me could ever be a good stock analyst or even work in finance.

4) I lack discipline
I am such a lazy person. Why? I am not so sure. I am not rich enough to be lazy, but I am. I just read a bloomberg article about what successful CEOs told Betty Liu, about their experience and personal stories. I actually respect Bob Benmosche, the CEO of AIG. Well, I respected his mom more than him. She singled handedly raised 4 children while running a motel and trying to pay down a debt of $250,000 in 1954. I would have committed suicide if I was in her situation. What gave her the power and the will to carry on, I wonder. She probably slept for less than 4 hours a day for more than 10 years. What a strong woman! ( She just made some of the upper class Chinese women I met so small!)

In comparison, I am really just looking for a place where I don’t have to overwork, but make a decent amount of money. There is no free lunch in the world. I have to evaluate and make choices between current investment and future income. I don’t want to think about investing now. Let me just go to sleep. It’s almost 12. ><

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